Oh, Baby

Well, it's been a while. I don't think I've written a post on here for about a year! But what a year it's been. Here's a brief overview:

After spending the summer in Oklahoma, we moved back to Rexburg so Austin could go back to school. He spent that Fall/Winter going to school full-time and I spent it teaching at a studio in Idaho Falls and dancing on a dance company. After my company's concert and my studio's recital we had plans to move to Salt Lake City for the summer for an internship. However, things didn't work out quite the way we had planned (go figure). We moved into an apartment and had to deal with roaches, then we found another place to live that was in someone's basement apartment but most of our furniture (including our bed!) wouldn't fit through the doorway. You know those nights of your life that you look back on and just remember how everything felt so dark and hopeless? Think of having already rented 3 moving trucks in about 3 days, having to leave a family funeral to try and get out of a cockroach-infested apartment, moving all day for days in a row, and then standing outside your new apartment at 10 pm with all your furniture on the ground because it won't fit through the doorway...oh, and you're pregnant. haha Anyway, let's just say we were out quite a bit of money, quite a bit of sanity, and even more hope. And we were living apart during this experience because I hadn't finished teaching in Idaho Falls yet. It was sort of one of those experiences that you look back on and think, "Why on earth did that happen?" and we still don't know, but things worked out that a couple in Austin's home ward (in Idaho Falls) was/is serving a mission in St. George and we worked it out to stay in their home and pay them rent and look after their house while they're gone. Austin was also able to count working for his dad's insurance agency as his internship, and I have been able to work for a lady in the ward who needed extra help this summer. So, you may never know why some experiences are allowed to happen to you, especially when you're "living right" and doing what you're supposed to do, and when the Lord doesn't say, "Stop! Don't move there!" All we know is that things have worked out better than we could have really hoped. But things have been very good for us. We've both been able to work this summer, Austin got his insurance license, and we've had a lot of fun taking care of a house (and yard!).

Currently, Austin is working as an insurance agent for his dad, going to school and taking 14 credits, and being the best husband ever to me. I am teaching a few days a week (just assisting as I am large with child), and working a few days a week for a lady in our ward. We decided to stay in the house where we've been living so that we can save some money and time as we're both working in Idaho Falls and Austin only has class on campus in Rexburg 2 days a week. More than anything, though, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little guy. Pregnancy has been an interesting adventure to say the least. It's funny how everything you hear about it is true, but how what's even more true is that it's still such an individual experience. I thought I'd share a few thoughts/experiences on it:

The First Trimester:
My first trimester wasn't as terrible as lots of women's, but it was awful. Imagine that you feel so nauseated all the time that to this day you can't use the lotion, eat the food, or drink the drinks you had while you felt that way. But also imagine that you don't throw up very often so people kinda look at you for weeks like, "What's wrong with you?" And then they find out you're pregnant and they sympathize, but then they find out that you haven't been barfing your lungs out and it kinda goes away. That's sort of what my first trimester was like. It was a fairly even mix of sympathy, advice, and the "What are you complaining about if you're not barfing?" attitude. But let me just say, for any of you pregnant women out there who feel so sick you can hardly eat for weeks but aren't throwing up, I feel you.

The Second Trimester:
"You'll have so much energy!".......nope.
"Your skin will glow!"...................haha.
"You'll start showing soon!"...........not really.
I think people telling you or reading about "what to expect" all the time can be both good and bad. I think everyone told me I would have lots of energy, and so I waited for it to show up the whole trimester, and it hardly ever did. I definitely felt better than I had in the first, but I was still exhausted all the time. It was easier for me to push through the exhaustion, though, and maybe that's what people meant. Also, there was no glow. I was promised glowing, and the only "glow" I ever had was sweat from being pregnant in the dead of summer. This trimester was also mostly just looking like I ate 12 cheeseburgers, but no baby bump to be seen. I don't think I popped until about 22 weeks. But it's true what people say about how you wake up and it's there all of a sudden.

The Third Trimester:
Disclosure: I'm not finished with this one yet. Obviously, or I'd have a baby. But I am 4 weeks into it. At this point, I'm big enough that everyone now notices without hesitation that I'm pregnant, but not quite so big yet that I feel like a whale. Well, I may feel like a whale sometimes, but I can still put on my own shoes and I'm calling that a win. At this point everyone (and I don't just mean friends and family, I mean like society as a whole) feels what seems to be a vested interest in my offspring. My mom had pointed out that it's probably human nature to be fascinated and interested in pregnant women because of some survival instinct embedded in the human soul. I'm not sure if that's what it is or not but people are very interested in you when you're pregnant. I had the opportunity to go to Education Week at BYU with my mom, Grandmommy, and Aunt. It was so awesome, and people were very nice to me, but I would be so surprised at what total strangers would say to me or ask me. People I had just met would ask me what we were naming the baby, if I was feeling sick, how long it took me to show, when he's due, etc. I appreciated people's friendliness, but at the same time people would say things to me like, "You're about to pop!" or "Wow, must be close! Are you due soon?" or "Oh, is it twins?" or "I have a daughter due before you and she's not even that big yet!" I don't know if people think they can or should say stuff like that to pregnant women because they see it in movies or TV shows, or if they think that social boundaries go out the window because my baby is offspring of the human species and they have a right to say things like that, but, wow. Just wow. Oh, and my all-time FAVORITE (can you sense the sarcasm?): "Oh, get all the sleep you can now because once baby comes you won't get any more!".................................................................................................
I think I get that one more than anything else. And it takes all of my very depleted pregnant-woman filter/self-control to not hit people with my purse when they say that to me. First of all, when mothers say that to me, do you not remember what it's like to be 8 months pregnant and try to sleep? And to guys who say that to me: strap a 10 lb bag of flour to your belly (flour that kicks you in the ribs, in the bladder, and who I swear is tickling you on purpose), lie down on your side (not your stomach which is where, if you're like me, is the only way you've slept your whole life), wake up every hour to manually change sleeping positions because your body won't do it naturally, wake up to pee every other hour, be so hot even with a fan blowing directly on you that you wake up sweating, throw in some heartburn and indigestion, throw in waking up in the middle of the night because you had a dream you were eating cookies (and then realizing that you had no cookies so you start to cry), and then say that to me. I get what they mean when they say that, I really do. I know that it will be so much worse and different and exhausting, and I know that I can't comprehend it until it's happening. But why, oh why, would you say that? Especially because, I don't know if you're new to life, but you can't save sleep in a jar and use it later. Doesn't work that way!

Okay, enough of my sass for now. I feel like I need to mention how incredibly blessed we are. I thank my Father in Heaven every single day for the blessing I have of being pregnant and bringing a sweet little spirit into the world. I recognize that so many people will never have the opportunity to do what I so often take for granted. Whenever I feel the urge to complain, I am quickly reminded of how much I have to be grateful for. And I really am. I'm grateful for all of it. I may have cried when I saw the stretch marks forming on my belly, but I also recognize how blessed I am that my baby is growing. It may have been really hard for me to feel so sick and exhausted in my first trimester, but I knew that it was because my body was nourishing another body, and that I am blessed that that sickness hasn't lasted. I may feel guilty that I can't work as much or do as many things around the house as I'm used to, but I'm grateful that I've had such a healthy pregnancy and that I really have been able to do a lot. I may feel badly that I'm such an emotional mess, or that I'm more short-tempered or rude than usual, but I am blessed to know that this isn't forever. Unlike so many people in this world who suffer so many things that are so much worse, mine has a tentative expiration date. And while I know that I will never go back to what I was before, I will feel strong again. When Austin and I were talking about starting our family, we had no idea what it would take or how long we would have to wait. Looking back, I still can't believe how blessed we've been that having this baby wasn't/isn't a struggle for us, and that everything has gone so smoothly. We are so excited, scared, nervous, anxious, and blessed. And Austin has been the most amazing help through it all even with all that he has going on in his life. Some of the most tender moments that I'll keep with me forever are the quiet nights we have together when our little guy is wiggling around, and Austin will rub my belly and talk to him, and he'll start moving even more because he recognizes his voice. It already makes my heart melt.

So, in conclusion, that's what's going on with us! There will be more updates within the near future as things happen. As of right night we're just waiting for our little guy, and Austin will graduate in December, and then who knows where life will take us! But it will be great. Even in the hard times it is great.

-The Fran Fam and Baby Guy
P.S. No, we don't have a name picked out and when we do, we probably won't tell. ;)